Our relationships are our best teachers and often reflect back to us the things within us that challenge us and need to be brought to light.
Today’s mindful challenge is to take a look at a relationship that challenges you. It could be a romantic relationship, a relative, a friend or a co-worker.
Reflect on what is challenging you. Is there something to learn? Is this a pattern that you see in other relationships you have or had?
A great exercise is to sit quietly with yourself, close your eyes and visualize the two of you in your imagination. Take the other person’s perspective and have them talk to you in your imagination. Then reflect.
After I got divorced I was sure that every single issue I had would disappear because I really believed at the time it was all his fault. I never took any time to reflect and just started dating again and in each relationship the same old crap was still there!
Yay, that led to some breakdowns and finally the realization that I had some tough crap to work through. I finally took ownership of it. I finally started to dig into my patterns that I kept repeating. Not an easy task, but worth it and one that I’ll do for the rest of my life.
3 years or so after our divorce we got back together. It’s not perfect but it’s way less accusatory and defensive. Way more kind. And with better communication skills now and with the help of some close friends I can see the lessons being played out for me to learn from.
One of my biggest patterns that I uncovered was my tendency to walk away from a relationship and jump into something new as a distraction. I never used to take time to process and to learn because it was insanely tough.
So now I do my best, and need reminders from my friends at times, to try and understand the lesson and to try to understand what is being reflected back at me. Then it’s time to take that tough, but oh so worth it, journey inwards to learn and frow.